Monday 17 June 2013

Bridal Weight Wedding Diet

Reader, I’ve gained weight.

While other brides around me are panicking and stressing and booking extortionately priced sessions with scary personal trainers, I find myself in a blissful cake-eating cocoon.

This is somewhat perplexing, so I’ve been theorising about possible causes of this new and unwelcome development. Here they are:

a)      The weather has been rubbish so I’m still in thermals when I should be in shorts.

b)      Work is exhausting.

c)      Conversely, I’m lazy.

d)      I’m in that dreaded stage of ‘comfortable’ having successfully ensnared a fiancé.

e)      I’m a little bit frightened of all things bridal.

Obviously my fiancé hopes it isn’t undesirable option d as that would make me a rather scary marriage prospect: trap doors hidden behind lacy lingerie.

But theories aside, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve gained weight and that, according to every bridal magazine and blog out there, this is apparently the opposite of what I should be doing.

Admittedly, I still have a year and a half to turn this around, but what if I don’t? Okay, I can’t see myself careering off into a bucket of lard, but I had always imagined I’d be ‘svelte’ on my wedding day, and now I’m just not sure I have it in me.
(c) Shane Diet Resorts

You know when you walk down the road and you see those women who look polished? The ones who, you imagine, have an impressive (but not too stressful to cause premature ageing) career; Carrie Bradshaw's wardrobe (and friends); a fabulously handsome and stonkingly rich partner; parents' holiday home in the south of France; and the metabolism of an eleven year old. Well, dear reader, I confess I always thought I'd be one of them.

But I'm not sure I could be further from that point, and I think secretly I worry that I'll look like a little girl playing as a bride on my wedding day. What if my hair doesn't shine? What if I don't have a flat tummy? What if I don't have 'bridal biceps'? Whenever I get dressed up to go out, no matter how much time and effort I've put into getting ready, as soon as I get onto the tube I feel like Worzel Gummidge.

Somewhat perplexed, I visited a friend and fellow bride-to-be who is getting hitched this summer.She and her fiancé joined a gym earlier in the year with all the best intentions, but they only managed three trips. Now, with less than two months to the elusive goal of ‘sveltivity’, they’ve given up - happily. Yet to look at them, they look like a 'made it' couple.

But it takes serious nerve to turn your back on the 'bridal weight loss plan'. I typed those very words into Google and got a staggering 41,500,000 hits. Words such as 'buff brides' and promises that entering your married life in a smaller dress size is the key to a long and happy marriage filled my screen. And grooms aren't immune either.
Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not advocating stuffing your face with cake and sitting on the settee all day. Personally, I'm an active size 10, but I haven't set foot in a gym since I was 20. Instead my fiancé and I go on day trips; we run; we go for walks around the park after work. 

A lot of this is down to self perception. I think that on your wedding day you need to feel like the happiest version of yourself. Be honest with yourself and play to your strengths: don't wear a strapless dress if it doesn't suit you; don't wear a fish-tail design if you're uncomfortable in it; if your back is your best feature then wear a backless dress; if you have a pert bum then show it off Pippa Middleton style. And no matter what - DO wear supportive underwear. There's no way I'm paying £50 per head for a delicious meal and only eating 2 mouthfuls of it because I'm nervous about a protruding tum.
And remember that ultimately, the people you really care about will tell you you're the most beautiful bride in the world. And those who don't can sod off.

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